What do you call spending a full 6-hour school day in the same large room with 130 ninth graders?
High energy. (That one’s a given!) Emotional. Humbling. Touching. Overwhelming. Remarkable. Motivational. Heart-wrenching. Fulfilling. Exhausting. Inspirational.
I experienced all of that on a cold November day at an inner city Denver high school where the entire 9th grade class was assembled to participate in Challenge Day® (www.challengeday.org and www.challengedenver.org). As one of 26 volunteer adult facilitators, I had no idea what to expect, I just knew I was supposed to be part of it.
The day is designed to help them (and us) better understand that they are not alone in what they’re feeling and experiencing; that aggression, violence and oppression in any form hurts us all. The focus of the day is to let them know they deserve to feel safe, loved and celebrated – not because of anything they do, but just because they exist.
It was a deeply moving experience to help hold the space for these kids as they dropped their masks and revealed the depth of pain, sadness, and hurt they’d been holding in.
The lives of EVERY SINGLE ONE of those 130 children had been touched in some way by drugs, alcohol, bullying, physical or emotional abuse, guns, gangs, murder, suicide, racial or religious persecution, incarceration, or harassment – all in the short span of 14 or 15 years on this planet.
Many of them felt like they’d never had the chance to be a kid because they’d never felt safe enough to just play. Pretty sobering.
I cried when the kids cried because they didn’t feel safe to go home. I hugged kids who had the courage to admit their deepest fears to each other. I quietly sat with kids who were still too afraid to remove their masks.
It seemed like every cell in my body resonated with the fear and grief born from the persecution, harassment, bullying, teasing, and abuse they experienced.
I was also inspired by their courage to step into the day’s process, and by their willingness to be vulnerable. It was an honor to witness the ways they stepped up to help their classmates feel supported and not so alone.
At the end of the day, the two lead facilitators invited anyone to step up to the microphone and share what the day had meant to them, and what changes they were going to make in their lives.
There were some apologies to fellow students for teasing them, and there were thank-you’s to people who were no longer in the child’s life.
An adult volunteer who is also a teacher at the school apologized to a student for riding him so hard, and explained that it was because he wanted the boy to live up to the great potential he saw in him.
I stepped up, too.
Through uncontrollable tears and sobs, I apologized to each one of them for every adult in their lives that never learned how to help them feel safe, or to feel loved as the amazing, beautiful human being each one of them truly is.
Then I made a promise to them.
I promised that I would do all I can to help people value each other’s uniqueness, and treat each other with respect, compassion, and kindness in our homes, our schools, our offices, and our communities.
Something deep inside me shifted when I made that vow out loud. That was the day my work (lowercase ‘w’) became my Work (with a capital ‘W’) — something a lot more than just a way to pay my bills. I felt like I was being pried opened and guided into something much bigger than myself.
That was in 2008. They’re all in their late 20s now, and I’m sure they don’t remember me. But I remember them. And I hope they still believe that they deserve to feel safe, loved, and celebrated. I hope they still carry the empathy and compassion they were brave enough to open their hearts to on that cold November day.
A Mission and a Promise become one
“There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish – a promise is something you are compelled to keep. One is individual, one is shared. When a mission and a promise are one in the same, that’s when mountains are moved and races are won.” ~ Hala Moddelmog, former CEO of Komen for the Cure
My mission to create a sustainable culture of compassion at work, at home, in our schools, and in the world continues to get me up every morning and drive me through each day. In fact, with all the emotional upheaval in the world, I feel more urgency to keep that promise.
Because if I can help one leader communicate with their employees with more kindness and respect and build stronger relationships with them, or help one team work together more collaboratively and have more fun getting their work done, then the effect of that effort will spread beyond their office. It will ripple out to their families and their communities, and hopefully across the globe.
Leader by leader, team by team, I plan on continuing to do everything I can to fulfill that promise I made to 130 ninth graders on that winter day.
Will you please join me?
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How are your company’s mission and purpose aligned with your daily actions? How do they show up in what your team members think, say and do, and how they relate to each other? Please share in the comments below!
Who else do you know that would find value in this? Please share and tag them!
Laurie Cameron, ACC
Mentor Coach for Mission-Driven Leaders who are committed to building a sustainable Coaching Culture that supports a fully engaged, resilient workforce.
