Transform Your Inner Chaos into Calm...
... in 60 seconds!
First, let's talk about inner chaos and stress
What does inner chaos feel like to you?
Scattered thoughts, hard to concentrate or focus on one thing?
Can’t make good decisions… or any decisions?
A bit like having a pinball machine in your brain?
The inability to focus or make healthy decisions can lead to stress and trigger the fight-or-flight response, regardless of the cause of the stress.
When this fight-or-flight response is activated, your body prepares to either battle the saber-toothed tiger or run away from it, and the amygdala gets to work.
The amygdala is the part of your brain’s limbic system, which is considered the most primitive part of the brain, and is responsible for controlling your survival instincts.
When the amygdala wakes up and goes to work, hundreds of hormones and chemicals are released, two major ones being adrenaline and cortisol. Your body also directs blood flow to the extremities to help you either fight or run away. Your respiration, heart rate, immune system and digestion are all altered as you tense up and shift into survival mode.
When all this is happening, the prefrontal cortex — which is responsible for higher level critical thinking and reasoning, problem solving, and impulse control — sits back, puts its feet up, and takes a break, metaphorically speaking.
So you’ve got a situation where your survival instincts have gone into overdrive and your ability to control impulse and hold an intelligent conversation has left the building.
We know that the fight-or-flight response does have important value when you’re confronted with a real threat to your safety and survival. Sometimes you need that rush of adrenaline and cortisol to respond quickly to keep yourself safe and alive.
However, you don’t need an actual physical threat to your survival for your amygdala to get to work. Any kind of stress that FEELS like a threat can trigger some degree of fight-or-flight response. And everyday stresses that aren’t managed can build up over a day, a week, a month and even years. Sound familiar?
You need recovery time
Unfortunately, we’ve developed a twisted belief that this constant adrenaline-fueled lifestyle is unavoidable and even normal. IT’S NOT.
If you don’t give your body a chance to recover from this survival response, and you continue pumping these stress hormones and chemicals throughout your body, you get way out of whack, your body can’t handle it, and over time you end up with emotional and physical ‘dis-ease’.
You have to be able to stop the flood of adrenaline and cortisol and allow your body to return to a state of alignment and coherence, where you can make responsible decisions, solve problems more creatively, and communicate in healthy ways.
The good news is that you don’t need a week-long vacation or even an hour of meditation every time you experience stress and trigger a fight-or-flight response. You can reclaim a sense of calm and physiological alignment with a simple technique you can use anywhere, anytime, in as little as 60 seconds!
A little backstory...
Many years ago a phone coaching client of mine was struggling and feeling overwhelmed when he called in for his session, and it definitely showed in his voice. Knowing that his frazzled state was going to interfere with the quality of his coaching session, I invited him to relax and take a few deep breaths before we started coaching. What do you think he said?
“I don’t have time to breathe!”
Even though he said it mostly jokingly, I didn’t laugh with him or let him off the hook — I challenged him instead. I asked him to take five long, deep breaths, and said I would time him. It took 62 seconds. He said he felt much more calm and even-keeled, and he was surprised at the significant and immediate benefit of such a small action. The rest of his coaching session went very well.
One of his action steps at the end of the session was to stop at the top of every hour during a work day and take those five long, deep breaths. In his coaching session the following week, he happily — and with great surprise — told me he’d been more productive in the last week than he had been in months!
A good reminder
That experience reminded me of the importance of getting off my own mental hamster wheel on a regular basis, and remember to bring my own mind and body back to a calmer state of equilibrium whenever I get flustered, frustrated or frantic.
Since that experience with my coaching client, I’ve modified and developed this concept by blending a number of different mindfulness techniques I’ve learned over the years. The result is a simple process that anyone can do anytime and anywhere to transform their inner chaos into calm with 5 breaths in about 60 seconds.
And I want to share this with YOU!
Feel free to practice and use this as-is, or tweak it to your own preference. The key is to develop a simple strategy you can use anytime you want to be calm, open, attentive, present, and focused on the person or task in front of you.
Let's get started!
Before I share the focus of the 5 breaths, take a moment now to get settled in your chair, with your feet on the floor.
Now take one long, slow, steady breath.
Inhale and count very slowly 1… 2… 3… 4…
Exhale and count slowly 1… 2… 3… 4… Be sure to gently exhale as much air from your lungs as you can, then pause and wait for your body to ask for the next breath.
One more time.
Inhale 1… 2… 3… 4… Exhale 1… 2… 3… 4… pause
Are you ready?
BREATH #1:
Relax your eyebrows and your ears.
I know that sounds kind of goofy, but think about it — when you’re stressed out, where are you likely to be all scrunched up and tense? Your forehead and your shoulders.
Focusing on relaxing your eyebrows and ears will trigger a cascading settling effect down throughout your body. This relaxing breath alone is a great start; it’s what my client did to easily boost his productivity in less than a week of consistent practice.
If this is all you can manage in a particularly stressful moment, do it! To achieve a more complete sense of presence that will make all your personal interactions much more effective, go on to the next breath.
BREATH #2
Settle your energy into the area of your heart.
There are different ways you might accomplish this. One is to imagine that all of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and energy are being drawn into the middle of your chest, in the area of your heart, as if you were gathering in a group of small children with your arms.
Another is to imagine that you’re breathing in and out from your heart; that your heart is expanding on your in-breath, and relaxing on your out-breath. What I like to envision is settling into a warm pool of water in the area of my heart and letting the water surround me.
Use any of these, or create your own visualization to bring your attention to the center of your chest.
Why the area of the heart? A wide variety of research organizations, as well as meditation and Yoga traditions, all point to an intelligent, influential power centered in the area of the heart.
There’s also a rapidly growing body of research to support the idea that the electromagnetic field (EMF) of the heart is vastly more powerful than that of the brain; that your emotions — either positive or negative — not only have a strong influence on your physiological health (your hormones, your digestion, your circulation, your nervous system, etc.), but that what you are thinking and feeling actually has a direct impact — again, either positively or negatively — on the physiological health of those around you.
Research conducted by the Institute of HeartMath® (www.hearthmath.org) suggests this positive or negative effect can be measured out from the body to a radius of 8 to 10 feet. Next time you’re angry, look around you — who’s within a 10-foot radius?
BREATH #3
Feel your ‘Inner Smile’.
What makes you smile from the inside out?
Not just something that makes your face smile, like your team winning, your favorite food, or the green left turn arrow being long enough for you to make the turn (that makes me smile!).
This is something that makes you smile from the inside out — a strong feeling of gratitude, appreciation, love, or compassion that starts as a warm glow deep inside you and radiates out until your whole body seems to be smiling.
It might be the love you feel when you’re with your partner, child, grandchild, or best friend. It might be the feelings of gratitude and appreciation you recall about a particularly meaningful event in your life. Or it may be simply thinking the word “Love” or “Gratitude” and letting that be your Inner Smile.
The important piece is to not just think about this, but to recall and fully feel and experience the deep emotions in the moment.
BREATH #4
Spread your Inner Smile throughout your whole body.
On the fourth breath, imagine your Inner Smile and gratitude spreading throughout your entire body, weaving in and out of your organs, muscles and cells, up to the top of your head, filling your arms and hands, and down through your torso and filling your legs and feet.
This will help you realign your entire body and bring it closer to a state of relaxation and coherence.
BREATH #5
Radiate your Inner Smile out into the world.
Now imagine a bright beam of light emanating from the center of your chest, radiating out in front of you, and fanning out in every direction.
Visualize this beam of light carrying your Inner Smile and feeling of appreciation spreading out as far as you can envision: filling the room you’re in; the building; blanketing your town and beyond; encasing the entire planet with appreciation and gratitude.
When you’re talking with another person, imagine this beam of light entering their heart and filling up their body, too. Remember the 8′-10′ radius theory?
This deep act of compassion and connection will open the door to the co-creative synergy necessary for healthy and effective communication.
Now put them all together
inhale… Relax your eyebrows and your ears …exhale… pause
inhale… Settle your energy into the area of your heart …exhale… pause
inhale… Feel your Inner Smile …exhale… pause
inhale… Spread your Inner Smile throughout your whole body …exhale… pause
inhale… Radiate your Inner Smile out into the world …exhale… pause
How are you feeling now?
If you’re feeling more calm, present, and grounded, it’s because you’ve just altered your physiology.
You’ve dramatically reduced the release of the hundreds of chemicals and hormones – especially adrenaline and cortisol – that flood your body under fight-or-flight stress responses.
You’ve also increased the ‘feel-good’ hormone DHEA in your body. Your body systems (e.g. nervous, circulatory, endocrine, digestive, etc.) are more aligned and coherent.
In this state of enhanced coherence, all of you functions better. Your higher level critical thinking and decision-making abilities are improved. Your ability to process information and respond to stress has also increased. The chances of your body developing stress-related ‘dis-ease’ has also been reduced.
60 seconds? REALLY?
You’re right. Sometimes it may take more than five individual breaths and 60 seconds to become clear, focused, calm, and present.
And sometimes it might take less!
Do the best you can in any situation. In order to become proficient at it, though, you must stick with it and develop it as a consistent habit. Once a day, once an hour, or every 10 minutes — whatever it takes!
The simple intention to be more coherent and present with whatever situation you find yourself in will help you shift more easily into a calmer state of mind, and a healthier state of heart.
Focusing your awareness on this intention will assist you in communicating with others more effectively, choosing more mindful responses, and making more confident decisions.
When and Where should I use this?
Any time and any place you notice that you’re experiencing:
- stress
- anger
- anxiety
- frustration
- fight-or-flight (or-freeze) mode
- any emotion that jumbles you up inside
Running late and stuck in a traffic jam? Instead of banging on your steering wheel and yelling – which I learned never makes the traffic move faster – breathe, find your Inner Smile, and choose a healthier response.
Toddler having another tantrum? Instead of screaming and making the whole episode worse (which I also learned doesn’t work!) – breathe, find your Inner Smile, and choose a healthier response.
Computer freezing up? Instead of giving in to the temptation to scream at it and throw it against the wall — breathe, find your Inner Smile, and choose a healthier response.
The possible times and places you can use this simple technique throughout your day are, unfortunately, numerous. But now that you have this tool in your toolbox, you can use it all day long, whenever necessary, without it wearing out.
What's next?
If you’re a people-leader (manager, director, supervisor, executive, VP, etc), you just learned the first side of the Communication Fire Triangle™ and you’re on your way to effectively coaching your team members! Ready for more?
STEP 1: Visit WAKE UP U and download “Laurie’s TOP 10 Toolbox Questions for Leaders Who Want to Coach Their Teams” for FREE and starting coaching your team TODAY!
STEP 2: While you’re at WAKE UP U, also check out the other free and budget-friendly digital courses that will help you learn at your own pace how to confidently coach your team. (bookmark the site, too, because more are added all the time)
STEP 3: If you’re the CEO of a mission-driven organization and you’re ready to build a sustainable Coaching Culture that supports a high-relating workforce that easily drives your mission forward, check out my Coaching Culture Jump Start™ signature program.
If you have a question, thought, or observation on this 60-second process, please contact me and let me know!
